2013

I'm not one to put on blast what has happened in my life. I don't want pity or sad eyes staring at me. I like to believe I am strong and even though I may shed some tears and need a friends shoulder every once and a while, mentally and emotionally I know I can steer through any troubled waters knowing I am stronger then I realize.

2012 started off with grieving for a major unexpected loss in my life, I've never lost a family member at an age where it would hit me so hard. Learning how it felt to be blind sided and learning how it truly felt to be sad because I didn't get to say goodbye was something I never really knew till it smacked me in my face.

2012 also started with uncertainty about my health. I was told I had cancer. I was informed that the cancer was probably spreading and I would need surgery. There are no words to describe the feeling of not knowing what your body is doing to itself or what is to be expected in the future. Will my dreams of getting married happen? Will I have children? Will I be able to complete all my life goals? I had my first major surgery in February of 2012 and have a scar across my neck. That scar, though is hard to still look at, reminds me every day that I am here, I am alive, I am healthy, and I thankful for my health every day. I ended up not having cancer and had a benign tumor removed in the end. That experience transformed me to take better care of myself and question what enters my temple.

Not only 1 month later I was hit with fear again. My father is living with stage 4 cancer. Living is the key word I had to learn and repeat to myself every day. He wakes up every morning, he still is able to work, he is still able to cook his amazing meals for family and friends who want to spend time with him, and he is still able to laugh. My father is my family's rock and from the day he got his diagnosis we have learned to be his rock. We all have stepped up to care for him, he is our everything.

Through this year I have been forced out of my naive world (that I never knew I was in until these events happened) and I have entered my 30's. I am becoming the woman I want to be. I am strong. I am able to follow what feels best for me. I have many still unanswered questions looming in my head, but at least I am confident to know I will answer them one day.

My blog is my safe haven. I am confident in knowing I'm not asking for attention. I simply want a place to rest my words before this year is out.

May you all find peace and health in the new year...

Midge xoxo

Kind Bars

I just tried a Kind Bar for the first time today and was in love! Not only is it made up of good ingredients (no high fructose, no GMO's, gluten and wheat free, low sodium), but it's tastes wonderful!

I had the Vanilla Blueberry and not only does it have real blueberries but almonds and cashews as well.

For 180 calories, I consider that a great snack!

Rant on a Friday morning

I get so frustrated sometimes because I don't have money like some of these other bloggers who can post a different outfit for you every day and can buy $230 perfume from Barneys. I am a serious regular Joe that has no money in her budget right now to even go to Target and buy herself a new pair of shoes. I hate my wardrobe and I would love nothing more then to update it and look current, but I barely have enough money to pay all my bills every week.

I wish I could be here more for you guys style wise etc. but maybe my blog just shouldn't be about that since I cant produce it for you. I love clothing though...:(

Anyways, excuse my loathing...sometimes it pops up.

Midge.
xoxo

Daily Thoughts...

Lately I have been wanting to change my focus. Instead of watching bad tv and reading gossip magazines I have decided to spend my time reading things that educate me, inspire me, open me up spiritually, and give me a push forward on my road to finding myself and loving myself.

I have found that there is no greater self worth then spending time with yourself and finding ways to improve who you are. I'm reading about how to play in the stock market, how to save more money weekly, how to release emotional baggage, how to eat so my body feels happier, and about history that effects all of us today.

I'm not coming from a place of thinking I'm better then anyone, I just feel inspired and want to inspire others along with me.

Hope you have a happy weekend!

Xoxo Midge

Dinner Break Dreams...

Currently on my dinner break from work and all I can think about is re-doing the interior decoration of my home. I just ran and picked up the special edition of Domino on news stands till July and I can't wait to tear into it. Here are some other images of rooms I am obsessing over:

Wreath Making with my Mother

I've been home for a month now after having surgery and I have gotten a lot done just on my own, but I had planned to do some artwork and crafting as well. My Mom and Dad were staying with me for some time to help me out with anything that required lifting or bending, and I decided to bother my Mom to finally show me how to make a proper wreath! When I first moved into my apartment my Mother made me the most beautiful green wreath that I proudly hung on my door for 3 straight years during winter, spring, summer, and fall. So I took her to Michael's near my house and had her teach me the tricks of her trade. Here is a step by step process. 

First you make a mess of Michael's and grab all the flowers you like .  

Once you have the flowers you like you start matching the sizes of the flowers by the way the petals look together, colors, and formation of a bouquet. 

These are the tools you will need to work with your wreath: glue sticks, hot glue gun, and wire cutters or pliers. 




Once the flowers are home, start arraigning them into the wreath the way you like them. 

Remember to start with dark on the bottom and bring the lighter colors near the top of the arraignment.  Also, add other flower accessories such as leaves, berries, etc. It fills the wreath and gives the eye more to look at.



Once you weave all the flower ends into the wreath you then hot glue them into place. It's super easy and fast and if you want a  flower to hold into a certain angle, glue that sucker down exactly the way you want it to lay.



Every wreath needs a bow. When buying ribbon make sure it has wire in it. The wire makes it easier to form the kind of bow you want.



After wrapping the ribbon around the wreath then gluing the bow down you can maneuver the bow edges and give it some character so it is not just laying flat. Make sure also to leave some ends to hang down, it adds the drama to your door!



Here is the finished product!

Midge xoxo

Costume Dressing

As you guys may remember I have a fascination with bandannas and also with being scared of fashion. Lets start with my love of bandannas:

Maybe it started with field hockey in middle school. I was a goalie and my first real scrimmage I remember my bangs in my eyes and I couldn't see anything that was going on. I went home and found a red and yellow bandanna that had been my mothers. That's when I started collecting bandannas. Gap Kids always had the best collection.

I am afraid of some fashion because I feel I am wearing a costume and I can't pull it off as a real ensemble. Maybe its being self conscious, but the minute I have something on that doesn't feel natural, it starts feeling like I am walking around with Rudolph's nose on. Everyone is looking and pointing and saying "Whats up with that?". Yes, New York City is the place to be yourself and be free, but I haven't come that far yet.

So getting to the point, I found these images from different sites that I loved. Whether I will rock them is to be unsure, but I can dream can't I?

(All images from MonicaRose.com )

Midge xoxo

Still Life 101

So my new year has started off with a return of a hobby I loved and missed

PAINTING!!

I decided to take painting 101 at an art school near my house and without getting all wishy washy on you it was a great decision. I probably haven't painted in 2 years, I use to paint every day in college. Picking up a hobby again that you once did and that brought a lot of joy, as I am sure you know brings that joy right back but ten fold. The class is filled with retires, but that's actually a breath of fresh air. New conversations, new takes on life, and new things to learn that I don't get on a constant basis. 

We started with a still life, so here it is. I won't be bashful or nervous about showing my work....it is what it is and it makes me happy. That's all that matters these days, making yourself happy. 

I hope you go make yourself happy right now ;)

Midge xoxo